When I first thought of the idea for this article I was at a Board of Education meeting and Dr. Feinsod said that his cat Blanche acts like a human. This article is dedicated to Dr. Feinsod and Blanche!

HOW DID CATS COME TO BE?

You know how the dog is domestic; well people never domesticated the cat; it made itself domestic. It all started around 4000 B.C., when the Egyptians started to store their wheat and rice in granaries. Mice started to eat the grain and rice so then the cat (called the wild Kaffir cat or Felis Sylvestris) started to eat the mice. It also caught fish and birds as well as mice. They soon elevated the cat to the rank of goddess. The goddesses name was Bast. Then around 2000 B.C. a new type of cat appeared in addition to the Kaffirs. This species had shorter legs and a narrower head. The Kaffir had evolved. It purred, flattering humans with its silky fur and enticed them with cat talk. What is cat talk anyway?

HOW MANY CATS SHOULD I HAVE?

You should only have one cat. Cats are not sociable animals; they don’t like the company of other cats and sometimes humans. The only way you can really have more than one cat is when you bring them up together from kittens. If you introduce them as adults a war will begin in your house. If you introduce them as kittens then they will grow up together and become friends so no war will start.

WHAT IS CAT TALK?

Cat talk is a very complicated, self-centered language. If you speak to your cat first there is a very big chance that it won’t speak back. Cats are the ones who start the conversations. To understand what they mean you have to feel, look, listen, and sometimes you even have to smell! Cat talk is the cat doing things with movements of its tail, ears, whiskers, and the pupils of its eyes. You can never own a cat, because a cat owns you, and everything else in your house. You have to accept that or your cat will go away.

CAT TALK…MEOW!!!

These are some different types of cat talk:

MEOW! A cat that makes that sound wants attention or an act performed.

• When given near the door the cat is telling you that it wants to go outside. The tail also often has a crick in it

• Your cat talk: open the door

• When given near the food bowl, while weaving around your feet, when the pupils of the eyes are small, it wants to be fed

• Your cat talk: feed the cat

Mee-o-ow! Starts high and then drops

• This is a protest because the cat didn’t get what it wanted, so it’s whining

• Your cat talk: give your cat more food or more attention. Pick it up and smooth its fur out.

MEE-O-OW! Same sound as above only louder

• This sound is a very loud, strong protest. You didn’t figure out what it wants.

MYUP! Given sharply. It is the meow made into one note.

• You might have stepped on its tail or taken away it’s favorite pillow or maybe not have understood what it was saying.

MERRRROW!

• This meow is the cats swear word. It is given very quickly and very loudly. The ROW is cut short

· · Your cat talk: get out of the way!

Mier-r-r-r-ow (Chirped and with a Cadence)

· · This is a loving expression of intimacy; you are the most prized possession in the cat’s domain. This needs no answer. Enjoy your high status.

RR-YOWWW-EEOW-RR-YOWOW

· · This blood-curdling scream is the cry given by the tomcat to a mate at night.

· · Your defense: put a pillow over your head and go back to sleep

WHISKERS TOO!?

If the whiskers are bent forward that means that the cat loves you. If they are bent back that means that the cat is alarmed and it is thrusting its whiskers out of the way ready to bite. You have to watch whiskers. If they are forward you can hug the cat, but if they are back you should back away.